How do you know you like where you are if you've never been anywhere else?
This is what I'm thinking about while I'm making a turkey sandwich in the kitchen of my apartment in Lansing, Michigan, 48906. I could be making this sandwich somewhere else. In some other apartment in some other city. I think it's mostly a distraction I use to keep myself from thinking about other things like school and cleaning up my apartment and what I'm going to do when I graduate and whether or not I will get to graduate next spring.

I do like where I am. I think. But it comes back to that question. The longest I've ever even been out of town was for a month at camp when I was a kid. At first living on my own was a big enough thrill, it was like being at camp but better. Then living with Chaz was a thrill. And it's great living with him but I have no fucking idea what I want to do with myself.

I don't know if I like electrical engineering. Something tells me I don't want to sit in a cubicle and come up with innovative new solutions for cutting silicon real estate on some IC chip. I know that won't make me happy.

Basically I've broken it down to

OPTION A) Do something you love which probably means have your own business which probably means be poor and have a kind of crappy life-outside-work since you put all of your time and energy into your business.

OPTION B) Don't really like what you do that much but make a great living and great benefits and have an amazing life-outside-work. A band, a man, a plan, panama! Punch the clock for forty hours to support whatever the fuck I really love.

What the fuck do I really love?

I'm so fucking spastic that now that I'm SO CLOSE to getting a BSEE I want to chicken out and do something else. Real estate? Art history? Linguistics? Computer programming? Medical school?

Yeah.

Real Estate. Buying houses. And then selling them.

Electrical Engineering. Coming up with something beautiful and brilliant. And then handing it over to your company.

Professional dog walker maybe. I could do that. I could do ANYTHING. Literally! But I don't think I want to do anything. Except spazz from one crazy project to the next.

So now that I'm an EE senior and there's math and other useful things crammed in my skull, what do I do with it? Is there any way to get it out?